Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Buhtt sex?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
