I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
