sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
