I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
