Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
