You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
