We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
