I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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