oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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