life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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