i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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