Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
