Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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