Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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