I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
