I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
