didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize