I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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