Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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