Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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