yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
