i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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