I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Help. Why am I so naked?
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