She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
