worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
