so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I stole a fireplace last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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