dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
