My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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