meet me or not, i'm out of control
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
