Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
