Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
