I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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