Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
