Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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