I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
