told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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