So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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