She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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