hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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