help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
