I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
