It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize