Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize