so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
