im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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