before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
