I got chris browned last night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
