Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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