i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Your topless pictures make me question reality
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
pray to the hookup gods
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.