Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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