thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize