so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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