Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
