Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
