I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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