Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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