Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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